Funny how my life has changed. I was struggling so badly. I had little to no relationship with God. My Bible laid collecting dust and my prayer life was non existence. I found myself envying people who had a relationship with God. For some reason the whole prayer and devotional time does not come easy for me. One day it dawned on me, that anything of value comes with a price including relationships. Armed with that knowledge I began investing deeper in my personal relationships and started looking for cracks of opportunity to spend time with God. I wish I could say that it was like flipping a switch, but it wasn't and although a door has been open for me to spend time in his presence, it still takes effort. It takes me stepping away from my distractions and opening my heart, mind and spirit to Jesus. Daily I am gaining ground. Praying and seeking him regularly and praying for others as they come into my thoughts. I was once a prayer warrior. I am hoping to become that again someday.
Things here at home are better too. Jesse is on a schedule and we have been spending more time together. The house is running smoother and even the relationship with my older sons is stronger. I know I love my husband and keeping our house a home and our children safe and loved is a valuable service I gladly give him. I am off one of my antidepressants. Hopefully in the next few months I will be free of the other.
I began painting out vast family room today. I have one wall complete and have trimmed out some of the others. It is a lovely green. I am very tired of the current white walls that adorn the majority of our home....One day at a time, one chore at a time and one prayer at a time....our life is coming together and I am so happy....
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